ceciliatan: (darons guitar)
( May. 17th, 2016 09:00 am)

Mirrored from the latest entry in Daron's Guitar Chronicles.

The whole Boston-based crew–me, Carynne, Chris, Bart, Bradley, and Courtney–went north for the July 4th vacation week. Ziggy stayed in the city and said goodbye to me with an enthusiasm for the experience of being apart that I think I was finally starting to understand. Now that I was no longer terrified that while we were apart everything was automatically going to fall apart (although there were still some paranoid moments–this is me, after all), I could see the appeal of looking forward to a reunion. That makes sense, right?

Besides, we both had stuff to do.

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ceciliatan: (darons guitar)
( Mar. 12th, 2016 12:30 pm)

Mirrored from the latest entry in Daron's Guitar Chronicles.

(Another Saturday bonus post! Want to do it again? Click here to give. Thank you everyone for your support! -ctan)

After getting Bart and Chris’s suitcases settled at a hotel, we went over to the rehearsal space to check it out.

Sarah’s team had been using it before we moved in, but it still looked much more like an abandoned industrial building (which is what it had been) than like an arts complex. The floor was rough brick in a lot of areas including the big main room where an entire full size stage could be assembled including lights and everything. Right now there were a few road crates sitting off to one side, one lone piece of truss as long as a semi, and some empty cardboard boxes lying around in there and not much else.

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ceciliatan: (darons guitar)
( Feb. 11th, 2016 09:00 am)

Mirrored from the latest entry in Daron's Guitar Chronicles.

(It’d be great if we could get 50 people to take this quick survey about loading times for DGC! Get a timer and go: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/W7NWDPG -ctan)

Bart picked me up at six as planned but with no plan for where we were going to eat.

“How about Bertucci’s?” Michelle suggested. She had grown her ringlety hair out gloriously and had adopted almost Ziggy-like dark eyeliner, giving her a more Bohemian look than she used to have. “I love their rolls.”

“But I don’t love their pizza, and neither does Daron,” Bart pointed out.

“Oh, right, I forgot you believe deep dish is a crime against nature.”

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Mirrored from the latest entry in Daron's Guitar Chronicles.

Okay, Bart here, and I hear you guys want a Christmas story, I have a doozy for you that involves the actual Messiah and getting your prayers answered. As Daron would say: insert angelic chorus here. (He learned that from me, by the way. Daron picked up most of his catch phrases and vocal tics from me. No lie, bwana.)

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ceciliatan: (darons guitar)
( Nov. 26th, 2015 09:00 am)

Mirrored from the latest entry in Daron's Guitar Chronicles.

(Happy Thanksgiving, USians! Happy Thursday, everyone else! -ctan)

Turns out everyone but me thought we were going to Jordan’s after The Cat Club. I caught up with the plan quickly, though. I went to say goodbye to Artie and found him talking to Barrett, who I hadn’t even realized was there. “How long you in town for?” Barrett asked me, when it was clear I was leaving.

“That might be up to Ziggy,” I said jokingly but it was the truth.

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ceciliatan: (darons guitar)
( Nov. 10th, 2015 09:00 am)

Mirrored from the latest entry in Daron's Guitar Chronicles.

(Reminder! Chat live tonight Nov 10th! Daron & me from 8-9pm Eastern here on the site, then 9-10pm livestreaming video with me taking your questions, reading, etc! -ctan)

I woke up in the morning groggy as hell and confused about where I was for a second, especially about why I appeared to be squished between two very warm people. The A/C was blasting so I was not upset to be sandwiched between two very warm people, merely wondering for half a second if we’d gone to a rave the night before that I didn’t remember, or what.

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Mirrored from the latest entry in Daron's Guitar Chronicles.

When we landed in Baltimore Carynne had a bunch of pages to answer so she went to a pay phone while I waited for our bags to come around on the luggage carousel. When she came back she said, “Bart’s here.”

“Here?” I looked around.

“In Baltimore, I mean. Came in on the train. I just paged him back.”

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ceciliatan: (darons guitar)
( Aug. 18th, 2015 09:00 am)

Mirrored from the latest entry in Daron's Guitar Chronicles.

(Quick announcement! Meme contest! I’m giving away a $25 Amazon gift card and DGC swag as grand prize in a contest for MORE DGC MEMES to celebrate the release of ebook Volume Seven. All the rules and details are posted over here: blog.ceciliatan.com/archives/2459 -ctan)

There were some press people there during soundcheck and I think possibly to impress them Remo had us do a couple more songs than usual. Which is to say it was one of the few soundchecks where he actually ran the soundcheck instead of me. It being Remo “running” the soundcheck meant he said some things like “Hey, what do you think about running through such-and-such?” and “Why don’t we take another song for a spin.” Like in New York, in LA there were always a lot of extra people around: hangers on from the record company and people with connections and who knows what else.

Fran was in fine voice but she seemed a little nervous, and Clarice’s reaction to that was to tease her mercilessly about it. “Look at you, you’d think you never saw a microphone before. It ain’t going to bite you,” that kind of thing.

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ceciliatan: (darons guitar)
( Dec. 9th, 2014 10:00 am)

Mirrored from the latest entry in Daron's Guitar Chronicles.

Leave it to Bart to actually try to make sense of it all. And by “it all” I mean Ziggy, but you know, Ziggy contains multitudes and also it’s never just about him, it’s about everything else, too. Because of course my relationship with him was tangled up with, well, everything that was wrong about the music industry.


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ceciliatan: (darons guitar)
( Jul. 29th, 2014 09:00 am)

Mirrored from the latest entry in Daron's Guitar Chronicles.

I still think it’s weird how my entire outlook on life changes for the better when I’m having enough sex. More to the point: how it changes–for the worse–when I’m NOT having enough sex.

Ziggy left on a business trip to Los Angeles a week later. Before he left we played around with Bart and Chris a bunch, wrote some songs, worked on some things I’d almost forgotten about, but we didn’t have much drive to finish anything since no one knew quite what was going to happen next. So that was fun if a little frustrating sometimes, like it’s fun to play with wet clay but at some point you want to finish it and bake it, you know?

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ceciliatan: (darons guitar)
( Jul. 8th, 2014 09:00 am)

Mirrored from the latest entry in Daron's Guitar Chronicles.

You might have noticed when Ziggy went off to have a one-night-stand with the lead singer of Sugargum, he didn’t ask me what I was going to do. That would make you quicker on the uptake than me, since I didn’t think of it until later. It was a lot of new stuff to deal with, you know?

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ceciliatan: (darons guitar)
( May. 8th, 2014 10:00 am)

Mirrored from the latest entry in Daron's Guitar Chronicles.

(Kickstarter ends tomorrow! Last chance at the cool swag, Colin/Daron bonus scene, etc! It all ends at 12noon eastern tomorrow! Also remember I’ll count any Paypal donations made by then to the final total, too! Right now we’re at $4,412, which means only $589 from unlocking ALL the stretch goals! Click to donate: http://kck.st/R31kCx -ctan)

I really hadn’t expected to fall into bed so easily with Colin. Well, to be clear, I hadn’t expected it at all. But I felt really good about it. Like mutual pleasure with someone I trusted and felt close to was something reasonable to expect, without the expectation itself creating anxiety.

I had a couple of little revelations though, thinking about it. The last time I’d had sex with Colin, that night in Cleveland, I’d been a complete emotional wreck. The contrast to how I felt now was so stark, even I grasped how much of a basket case I had been. By extension, I think I was starting to understand how much of a basket case Ziggy was when he wanted me but couldn’t have me. Maybe I even had a hint of how much of a basket case Digger was while married to my mother. Not that that excused anyone’s bad behavior, but at least I felt like I understood something I didn’t before.

I was still lying there feeling pleasantly sticky when I heard the doorbell ring.

“Oh shit, that’s Bart,” I said, jolted by suddenly remembering that we were due to rehearse. Was Chris home yet, I wondered?

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ceciliatan: (darons guitar)
( May. 1st, 2014 10:00 am)

Mirrored from the latest entry in Daron's Guitar Chronicles.

(Tonight is the live video chat! Join me on ustream from 8-10p eastern US time to talk about Daron and how the Kickstarter is going! Have you chipped in yet? Link: http://kck.st/R31kCx -ctan)

It was a little unfair for me to spring a rehearsal on Bart and Chris like that. I think I expected them to laugh off my suggestion and tell me to go jump in a lake. But either they really wanted to, or they felt that now that I was back… I was back in charge.

I’ll say this: I felt like I was in charge.

Rehearsal consisted of us playing our way through a song and me saying something like “wow, it’s been a year,” repeat with next song. Despite that, we sounded pretty tight for not having played together in that long. I reminded myself that Chris was a much much better drummer than he gave himself credit for. He really had a great touch, whether he was playing hard or soft. It’s hard to explain.

I think we all felt better afterward. I sat down on a milk crate. “Tell me honestly. Do either of you imagine the three of us, five years from now, with some other lead singer?”

They both shook their heads. There were bands who tried. But it was like TV shows that changed lead actors. It just didn’t work.

“Unless we cut down to just a trio,” Bart said.

“No,” I said automatically.

I didn’t expect him to push back. “Why not, Daron? You sing perfectly well.”

“But I’m not a singer.”

“Neither are half the people in this industry…”

“And that means I should do it?”

“It means you should seriously think about it. I’ve never understood your whole not-a-singer shtick. You’ve got a good voice, good pitch, and good expressiveness.”

“Which as far as I’m concerned are the bare minimum requirements.” I laid the Fender into its case.

“I’m just saying let’s not be too rigid in our thinking. Whatever’s going to come along next, we need to be open to it.”

Chris had been silent through all this, so I asked, “What do you think?”

“I agree with Bart,” he said.

Bart went one step further, though. “Maybe we should look at this like an opportunity. No one needs or wants anything from us musically right now. This is the best time to step outside our comfort zone and see what we can do, don’t you think?”

“Do you have something in mind?” I asked.

“I inherited a cello while you were gone and I’ve been teaching myself to play it. Chris and Colin have been doing stuff with keyboards and MIDI. What happens if we put all that together with whatever you want to bring to the table?”

I looked at Chris to get his opinion again.

“I’ve been hearing about this fucking cello for months. About time you brought it over.”

Well, that settled it. “All right. And you’re right. It’s not like I have something else to do right now.” Laundry? Redecorating? Yeah, right. I had nine months of the electronic music mailing list to catch up on reading and not much else on the to do list. “Tomorrow?”

Chris stood up. “I’ll be home by late afternoon.”

“I’ll bring dinner,” Bart said.

We went upstairs. Chris went to bed because he had to get up early. I should have been dead from jet lag around then, too, but I wasn’t, so Bart and I sat around on the back porch talking for another hour or two. We didn’t talk about the music industry and we didn’t talk about Ziggy, but we talked about everything else. Spanish food, granite, the fall of the Soviet Union, recumbent bicycles (he had bought one), shoe repair, broccoli. Like I’d never been away.

“You and Michelle getting along all right?” I asked at one point.

“Man, it’s weird being the one at home when she’s the one on a business trip,” he said. “I thought we had the whole nonmonogamy thing down pat, but I discovered I was too creeped out to bring a girl home. Like, that just felt wrong.”

I felt like that was maybe too much information but what the hell, he’s my best friend. “Why?”

“I guess because I feel like the house is this place that we’ve built for the two of us? Maybe?”

“But then how will you feel if she brings guys back there the next time we hit the road?”

“Shit, I don’t know. I never used to mind one way or the other, but that was before we bought this place…” His hair had grown out again and his shaggy curls partly covered his eyes. “I guess, yeah, it would bother me.”

“Is that a sign that deep down it bothers you overall?” Listen to me, all talking about relationships and stuff.

“No, I don’t think so. Part of me says I’m being stupid. I mean, if it doesn’t bother me if she wants to get some when I’m not around, why should I care where they do it?”

“Maybe you just have to live there for a while. You’re still in the honeymoon phase with the house itself.”

“That’s possible. I guess part of it, really, is that it’s not about sex. It’s about how much of your life you’re going to share with somebody else.” He sighed.

“Have you told her you feel this way?”

“Yeah. She thinks it’s cute. Let me tell you, it feels like such a blessing to be this in love with her after all these years.”

“How many is it, now?”

“Four. Going on five.” Bart shrugged. Once upon a time a girl lasting five months with him was considered long. “Over and over I feel like she’s the absolute right one.”

Which was cool. But got me thinking about Ziggy.

Was the only reason I fell so hard for him–both the first time, and each time since–because we had been spending so much time together, playing music and traveling together? Would it even work, would there even be an “it” to speak of, if we weren’t in a band together?

Well, I’d just spent a year separated from him. Was I any less interested in him? No. Was I less obsessed? No. Was I less in love?


But that only made contemplating breaking up the band even harder.

And it made contemplating seeing him again even worse.

Mirrored from the latest entry in Daron's Guitar Chronicles.

What woke me was someone knocking on the door. I lay there for a second trying to remember where I was. I wasn’t used to waking up in an actual bed, you know? It was so bright in the room I was amazed I’d slept. Then again, I’d gotten laid. My entire body felt better than it had in weeks.

I sat up suddenly, wondering if Ziggy was still here somewhere. It was hard to tell if the other side of the bed had been slept in. I looked around quickly as I went toward the door, where whoever it was knocked again.

I looked through the peephole.

Thank god. Bart.

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